TEN THINGS I LEARNED FROM THE S/S 2015 CATWALKS

If you’re not ready in the next three minutes, you’ll be late AGAIN – my mom’s nagging began every day around 7 AM, obsessively repeating with clockwork precision for the next forty minutes or till I was finally ready to make my way out of the house – that’s what I remember best from my school days – asides that torture instrument called backpack, whom I totally blame for my asymmetrical shoulders, the endless home works who ruined my chances of learning by heart the lines from my favorite TV series and that history teacher preaching the same boring quote at the end of every lesson – AS YOU LIVE, YOU LEARN – yeah, right, don’t imagine myself with a history book in my hand after graduation. Pointless to say now, years after surviving high-school, college and all those other annoying classes and courses I attended, sometimes from my own will, sometimes forced by the situation, that my teacher was right – learning never, I mean never ends; though, once you pass that school-characteristic strictness, once you have the freedom of choosing your points of interest, it can get quite fun and fulfilling – that’s one of the few pluses of the adulthood.

Taking a closer look at the S/S’15 Shows, that sensation of ignorance I felt in my school years when reading a new lesson, stroke back in a flash– who knew pajamas purpose ain’t for sleeping anymore and that I can transform my duvet cover into a chic coat? – I sure didn’t till a few days ago. All about my enlightening Fashion Week discoveries and how I’m planning to secretly introduce them into my wardrobe – no one, I mean no one ever, in a million years has to know about this – down below. MANY THANKS TO MY TEACHERS, I WOULD HAVE DROWN IN A POND OF IGNORANCE IF THERE WASN’T FOR YOU GUYS: ADAM LIPPES, YIGAL AZROUEL, DRIES VAN NOTTEN and all the others whose names I don’t remember right now, having my mind overstuffed with their style lessons.

LESSON NO.1: WORK THAT MOROCCAN RUG

MY TEACHER: ADAM LIPPES

WHAT I LEARNED: That old, heavy, full of dust, Moroccan carpet I’ve been stocking in my balcony, while desperately trying to get rid of – managed to donate it once but the one who took it found it useless so she sent it back – for the last five years is a fashion gem that I had no clue about. According to Adam Lippes, I can easily cut all its tassels then applying them on my spring outerwear – this DIY project will make me the lucky owner of a brand new tasseled jacket – of course, to finish this project I’ll have to buy around a dozen Moroccan carpets, just to make sure I don’t run out of tassels.

LESSON NO.2: SPORTSWEAR IS COUTURE

MY TEACHER: DKNY

WHAT I LEARNED: Since watching last month’s DKNY show, my sportswear is on the point of upgrading from gym junk to contemporary couture: that purple sweater I’m using at the gym would make a fabulous dinner top, stirring up envy at every cocktail event – and by adding a pair of velour track pants or maybe a cotton skirt, depending on the occasion, I’m on my way to become one of the best dressed persons at the next season’s parties. More than I’ve ever dreamed of!

LESSON NO. 3: THE PAJAMA IS YOUR FRIEND

MY TEACHER: YIGAL AZROUEL

WHAT I LEARNED: Till a few weeks ago I never gave the pajama the credit it deserved: every morning I ditched it in the laundry basket, changing according to the situation, in loungewear clothes or spending hours in the search of the perfect going-out outfits, while the coolest stuff ever was the one I slept in all night: that flower-printed silk pajama, I was unable to fully appreciate for decades. Thanks Yigal Azrouel for opening my eyes – from now on my daily rut will sound like: take the pajama off, shower, put the pajama back on, choose a nice pair of shoes – or can I use my home slippers? – Ready to go. Where to? Probably where I won’t be regarded as a fugitive…Endless possibilities…

LESSON NO. 4: SHINE ON THAT TREADMILL

MY TEACHER: LIBERTINE

WHAT I LEARNED: One of my life’s greatest mysteries was finally solved – thank you Libertine for playing the part of Poirot in this intense case, where the stake was my body’s own health -after watching your Fashion Week collection I finally understood why I don’t usually like to go to the gym – it’s because I feel embarrassed for not exercising in that emerald sequined track-suit you designed for the next season. Now that things are clear, I can finally make that treadmill fear for its electric sanity – dressed in a sequined track suit, how else?

LESSON NO. 5: THE DUVET COVER IS COOL

MY TEACHER: MM6

WHAT I LEARNED: Showcasing the same ignorance like in the pajama-case, there’s another sleep-related item I never understood or appreciated till MM6 opened my eyes: I’m talking about duvet covers and how their utility can upgrade from ordinary bedding pieces to beyond-cool fashion items. Yeah, MM6 showed us a futuristic way of dealing with outerwear: just throw your duvet cover over your outfit, tightening it up below your shoulders and that’s it: the coolest outerwear piece ever is officially in your possession. Don’t pay attention to those dazed looks that will probably surround you – stop starring you ignorants, you’re not on candid camera; this is how future looks like.

LESSON NO. 6: BARBIE IS BACK -WAS SHE EVER GONE?

MY TEACHER: MOSCHINO

WHAT I LEARNED: I knew it inside but, there’s always better when you get confirmation: and when that confirmation comes from Jeremy Scott, what else can you wish for? – of course, I’m talking about the fact that Barbie is the greatest fashion icon ever and choosing her as my role-model in terms of style – even though I’m a brunette, so I’ll settle with Theresa – is the best thing I could ever think of. I remember how, when I was around five, I dream about dressing like my childhood’s fashion hero and now, more than twenty years from then, my wish finally got an answer: next season I’ll be able to channel Barbie’s wardrobe without worrying about the suspicious glances – there will be any, thanks to Moschino. A small request though, now that I’ll have Barbie’s clothes, may I have her house as well? The one with elevator and pink fridge, please.

LESSON NO. 7: THE MAGIC LAND IS REAL

MY TEACHER: DRIES VAN NOTEN

WHAT I LEARNED: Another thing I was sure of even since childhood is the existence of a magic land: and I’m not talking about some country on the map, that can be visited by anyone, anytime, no, I’m talking about something secret, hidden from our knowledge, accessible to few lucky ones, who will probably never mention it in their stories, cause that’s the purpose of a secret after all. Still when I was giving up on any hopes of seeing it, Dries Van Noten handled us the key to his magic land, making quite a statement with this gesture: Like what you see? Wear DVN and you can live with me in my fairytale world. I’d better start saving now…

LESSON NO.8: WHO NEEDS UNDERWEAR?

MY TEACHER: ROCHAS

WHAT I LEARNED: I can survive without bras, that’s what I thought a few years ago, seeing underwear as something strongly overrated: I mean, why should I pay a hundred dollars for a bra nobody’s gone see anyway? As time passed by, I learned why…but now, after the Rochas Show, I feel quite confused. All those advices about the importance of wearing underwear I struggled so much to embrace were actually junk? How would people react if I approached the braless-plus-see-through-shirt TREND? I dare you to try…No, not in your bedroom’s intimacy, let’s say in the city center around noon or for more accurate results, at the office, just choose a meeting day. Have the courage?

LESSON NO.8: DON’T HAVE A GOWN? WEAR A PARACHUTE

MY TEACHER: A.F.VANDEVORST

WHAT I LEARNED: There are so many parties I didn’t attend to because on the invitation was written in capitals: Black Tie Event – so this means I need to wear one of those silk-chiffon Red Carpet-inspired gowns that unfortunately aren’t quite numerous in my wardrobe – the only thing left to do asides draining the bank account to buy a dress for a party I wasn’t sure I wanted to attend in the first place, was to refuse politely, coming up with a reason that practically screamed BAD LIAR. Time to end all this hiding from events situation cause now, after the A.F.Vandevorst Show I found out the secret of the chicest gowns next season has to offer: All I need is a parachute and some scissors…Now, where do I find that parachute?

LESSON NO. 10: YOUR DEMANDS WILL BE HEARD WHEN WEARING CHANEL

MY TEACHER: CHANEL

WHAT I LEARNED: I never got involved in a demonstration but after the Chanel show I wish I had – dressed in Chanel head to bottom, I’m sure our demands would be heard and taken care of faster than if wearing let’s say Zara, and chanting the same slogans. It’s quite easy, the protest suddenly becomes stylish and who doesn’t appreciate a stylish manifestation? – One question though: does wearing Chanel has the same effect for any manifestation or just for the on-trend, feminist ones? I can assume the next time when manifesting in front of the factory for a raise, the workers demands will be taken into consideration in no time, only if they’ll be wearing, as we learned, Chanel. Did I say raise? Now I’m in the dark: if they are wearing Chanel, why would they want a raise? Please, Karl enlighten me!